Snow?! In Chattanooga?! Well, hot damn, close the city down.
I’m in Ohio for the weekend. My kids both decided to not take naps today, which is pretty much the un-coolest thing when you’re traveling (or ever, who am I kidding?). I really wanted to run today, but the temperature is a whopping 19 degrees. With the wind chill, it feels like 9 degrees. NINE. That’s what Papa said, and he knows everything.
Did I mention that I forgot my very puffy and very warm winter coat on my couch at home? Suck.
There’s a nice crunchy layer of snow on everything here at my parents’ house. But apparently, there’s quite a blizzard back home (one would have to be a Northern transplant to truly understand the ridunkulousness of Southern snow). Daniel sent me a text telling me he was driving 5 mph because all the terrified drivers were.
Question: What’s the key bit in that last sentence? Answer: texting while driving. In the snow. With inexperienced snow drivers who may possibly also be texting while driving. In the snow.
It’s snowing in Chattanooga! So everyone gets to leave work early. No joke, my friend Amanda posted on Facebook that JC Penney’s was closing 4 1/2 hours early. You know what it would take to close down malls in Columbus? Direct acts of terror upon those malls. The people here loooove to shop.
I’m not trying to make slanderous statements about my fair city, but the snow goofiness is pretty goofy. I guarantee all grocery stores will have sold out of milk and bread by now. And Walmart would’ve been cleaned out in the generator department.
Sorry, I think I’m in a cranky mood because of the nap situation. Or maybe it’s all the Jarlsberg I’ve been eating. But I just saw a woodpecker on the tree out back. That was nice. I’m going to go to my happy place now. Wine.
**OK, I just talked to Daniel, and he said there’s probably about 4 inches of snow on our street. So . . . I’ll be hiding behind my wine glass, pretending to be a nice person.